Something About the Universe...

http://www.guardian.co.uk/film/2008/nov/07/spielberg-smith-oldboy-remake

I have come to the conclusion that either the Universe (capitalized to give it the anthropomorphic qualities of a deity) either hates me or just hates anything of excellent quality. And although there are numerous subjective reasons to believe that the Universe is out to make me miserable (which it isn't succeeding at), I think the actual target of the Universe is excellent art.

I say this because of the Link provided at the top. If you haven't seen Oldboy, it's amazing. Basically, one of my favorite movies. Anyways, apparently, Hollywood hates anything well-done and is now in the process of making a remake of it, directed/produced by Steven Spielberg and starring Will Smith. Let us just note that the last Will Smith remake/adaptation (I Am Legend, I'm looking at you) suck so badly, I actually walked out of the movie theater disgusted. And Steven Spielberg? I'll just leave that to your call.

Stan, why are you objecting so violently to the remake of a dang movie? You weren't that upset when they remade Kairo (Pulse), One Missed Call, or Dot Rec (Quarantine). Here is the reason. First, not only will the movie be a bad version of its original (which is almost inevitable for movies, although there are some exceptions), but it will also do a grave disservice to the original. What Oldboy achieved was an amazing amalgamation of style, philosophy, and storytelling. In being transfered to an American audience, it's going to lose all but the storytelling. But then again, the ending seems to me to be so disturbing to an American audience that it could not be allowed. Honestly, I don't think a big blockbuster director/actor team could get away with half the things in that movie, let alone keep the ending wholly intact.

Also, Park Chan-wook is such and amazing director and Choi Min-sik is such an amazing actor that I doubt that either Spielberg or Smith could do any justice to a remake after their work. Park Chan-wook honestly has an amazing eye for style and his screenplay was just beautiful that I don't think any attempt at a remake could even come close to the original. And Choi Min-sik's perfect portrayl of the miserable protagonist is just flawless. Will Smith, as good as he is, just doesn't have the chops that Choi does.

So, that is the reason I both don't want this remake to proceed (because it will tarnish the name of Oldboy), and why, if it should be made, I will watch it.

Although I can't stand the idea of a remake being done, if one is actually made, I need to see how far it missed its mark.